200 AMERICAN (2003)
Brandon quickly develops a crush and offers Tyler a one-thousand dollar a week office assistant/live-in fuck bag role, which Tyler instantly accepts. On the job, Tyler confronts hostility from Brandon's jealous, suspicious creative team and, well, things kind of go no where but also in all directions from this point as this already-woeful movie jumps aboard the Crapola Express to Shitville.

A DEATH IN THE FAMILY (1986)
The gay friends are just as awkward, and just as nervous about coming into contact with the other side, but the film quickly sides with them, showing us their emoting faces and privileging them with explanatory monologues and romantic nostalgia scenes, empathy generating things that Andy’s family are denied.

ALL OVER THE GUY (2001)
An utterly wretched film that carves deep new trenches into the stinking open grave that is contemporary gay cinema.

ANONYMOUS (2004)
Cruising around washrooms, parks and the internet for sex is boring enough when you're doing it yourself, so the experience of watching Todd Verow's 84-minute home video of his own seedy, endlessly unsatisfying encounters is enough to drive you to stick hot needles in your eyes.

THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB (2000)
Some gay guys are as flippant and dumb as the characters in this film, but that doesn’t mean I want to sit through a feature film full of them.

BUTCH CAMP (1997)
Butch Camp looks like a weekend project banged together by some ambitious but talentless gay guys who’ve borrowed a camera and a few hours of their friends’ time to make this total piece of self indulgent, boring, embarrassing crap.

CIRCUIT (2001)
Writer/director Dirk Shafer’s overblown 130-minute expose on circuit parties turns out a glorified mess, an amateurish R-rated After-school Special melodrama written by a dysfunctional soap opera team. It’s no surprise that many of the actors have soap opera experience.

CROCODILE TEARS (1998)
you'll feel like you're in a death roll for the first seven or so minutes of the hopeless Crocodile Tears and the experience of sitting through the rest of the movie is akin to, I imagine, decomposing slowly from the inside of a rotten log deep beneath the surface of a Northern Territory billabong.

FORTUNE AND MEN’S EYES (1971)
Inexplicably acclaimed by many critics for his performance in this film, Michael Greer, who played the same role around four hundred times on stage, overacts beyond all acceptable limits, making Queenie completely unbearable, a grotesque who gets on everyone’s nerves and who looks, incidentally, for all the world like the killer from The Silence Of The Lambs. Things screech along desperately, climaxing with Queenie’s Christmas party drag show (yikes!) and a riot, murders, suicides, steamed-up shower scenes etc.

HOLLOW REED (1996)
Even when he’s getting his face punched in by his ex-wife’s brutal de facto, Martyn wears a Christ-like facial expresssion, his silky hair hanging around his cheekbones like the sad floppy ears of the maudlin family bloodhound.

THE VELOCITY OF GARY (1998)
The Velocity of Gary has a few moments of interest but mostly sinks into clichés, contrivance, and a deadly staginess traceable, no doubt, to its happier early life as a solo theater piece.

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