Deathtrap USA, 1982 Director: Sydney Lumet Stars: Michael Caine, Christopher Reeve, Dyan Cannon

Deathtrap USA, 1982 Director: Sydney Lumet Stars: Michael Caine, Christopher Reeve, Dyan Cannon Our Rating: (see more films with this rating) Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve apparently drank litres of alcohol to get through their dreaded male-male kiss scene in Deathtrap, but you'll need something stronger than alcohol to stay interested in this movie. Though a spritely 116 minutes, Deathtrap seems like it goes about ten times that long. Sidney Lumet directs this adaptation of the longest running mystery/thriller on Broadway in the most unimaginative way possible, containing the action in a theatre-set and following the actors around as they shrilly bounce endless dialogue off the walls in eardrum-piercing to-the-cloak-room projection. Screenwriter Jay Presson Allen wrote Cabaret in 1972, but retired after writing this film, so film lovers everywhere can all be greatful for that. The thin-lipped, unattractive Caine has - so far - kept his vow to never film a gay love scene again, and we can all be greatful for that as well. Caine plays Sidney Bruhl, a one-time Broadway champ stuck on a run of flops. Hitting the drink and stuck in a claustrophobic marriage with annoying Myra (Dyan Cannon), Bruhl is desperate for a hit, or so he makes us and Myra believe. So, when he hears from a talented ex-student Clifford (Reeve) who calls out of the blue wanting Bruhl's advice on a hot script he's trying to sell, Bruhl cooks up a plot to kill Clifford and steal his work. Bruhl has a huge collection of medieval props from the sets of his old hits, and all he needs to do is to get Clifford a bit tipsy, lead him up to the study and hit him over the head with a rusty old poker. But Myra takes a bit of convincing, and even when the deed is done, trouble arrives in the form of Helga Ten Dorp (Irene Worth), the Scandanavian clairvoyant who lives next door. So the setup of Deathtrap is Dinner Theatre 101, and why it enjoyed such a long run on Broadway is anyone's guess. I guess, like the similarly named Mouse Trap in London's West End, creaky old parlour thrillers can grab the cheaper ticket, couldn't-get-into-The Lion King market, and with their cast of five actors and no fancy overheads, can run forever on the smell of a wet rag. No wonder the format is prized by theatre producers. It has no value, though, in a movie. Apart from the hilarious sight of Dyan Cannon flouncing around the house in a horrid polyester wardrobe - look for the tight white pants that show off her fetching camel's toe - there's just nothing worth watching in Deathtrap. I thought I'd perk up after Christopher Reeve jumped through a French window covered in dirt and blood before trying to strangle Caine with a rusty chain, but it was a false alarm. Related Reading: Suddenly, Last Summer Cowboys And Angels Outrate.net: Homosexuality and Movies ... Re-Viewed home/film reviews/interviews/features/info contact: mark @ outrate.net